From The Desk Of Bill Varga

It’s time to think bulbs! Tulips, Daffodils, Crocus, Garlic, yes, Garlic!  Even with our serious water shortages, you can feel good about expanding your landscape with these underground water efficient flowering superstars.  Here in the arid west, the below the surface stems take advantage of our seasonal moisture patterns to provide seasonal color with little to minimal effort on our part and yes, Garlic, too.    Although considered a vegetable, it develops best if planted along with your traditional bulbs in the fall.  So, here are some Garlic growing tips: Prepare your planting bed prior to your setting clove starts. In fall, when soil temperatures scale down to around 60 degrees Fahrenheit, which is late September to mid-October, plant your cloves. Choose only the largest cloves.  A Garlic bulb may contain between ten to eighteen cloves. Use smaller ones for culinary. I till a row and plant in the furrow left behind by the depth stabilizer. Sets are placed about 6” apart and laid out in the furrow with the pointed top upright. Push each set 3” into the loose soil. As fall work progresses, I mulch with leaves about 2” deep.    Soil preparation prior to planting is important.  Our clay loam soil is improved by adding an inch of dry horse manure which is well tilled into the area a week or two prior to setting cloves.    Let mother nature take her course and harvest next July!

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.  He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.  The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer 3 months to track down.
   After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply: (actual letter) Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the request is supported by an ‘Abstract of Title.’ While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803.  Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.
   Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows: (actual letter) Your letter regarding title in Case #189156 has been received.  I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 218 years covered by the present application.  I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S. from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.
   For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain.  The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
   The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus’ expedition.  Now the Pope, as I’m sure you may know, is the emissary of Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.  Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana.
   God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA.  I hope you find God’s original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?
The loan was approved.

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