From The Desk Of Bill Varga

When asked my favorite color, I answer, “Blue”. That’s odd, I think.  I really like Sundancer Daisies (yellow), Firechalice (red-orange). Maybe it’s the “Blues”! Not music but blue grasses.    Blue Oat (Helictotrichon), Mini Blue Oat (Poa secunda var. juncifolia), Blue Fescue (Festuca), Blue Basin (Leymus glaucus), Indian Grass (Sorghastrum nutans), all come in striking shades of blue by varietal selection.    If you desire tall grass for screening you can’t beat the Perennial Favorites Standout “Blue Basin” wildrye which can reach to 6’ tall. Once established, the intermountain region native needs little to no water to achieve its ultimate stature in powder blue.   Of similar character in height and color is “Thin Man” Indian grass.  It develops a more narrow and upright form when compared to its species relatives.    The long lived true silver blue oat grass still holds a secure place in this color group at a mid-height range of 2-3’. Unlike other grasses, older dried foliage is combed from each plant rather than cut down in the spring.   Two native Poa species we call Mini Oat, are smaller versions of the above European Blue Oat introduction.  They resemble Blue Oat and grooming is similar. The long time favorite Blue Fescues can be had from the diminutive “Boulder Blue” (6”) to taller “Beyond Blue” (12-18”)    Soften your garden hues with some of the above and enjoy the gentle sway of the taller group as they dance in the late summer, fall and winter breeze.

Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam. Of course, I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.
   The waiting room was filled with patients.  As I approached the receptionist’s desk, I noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.  I gave her my name.  In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, “YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE: YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”
   All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, a now very embarrassed man.  But as usual, I recovered quickly and in an equally loud voice replied, “NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.” The room erupted in applause!                                               
   Don’t mess with old retired guys

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